Life

staying connected

January 9, 2012

I alternate between stirring vegetables and washing dishes, stepping over the baby as he pulls every Ziploc bag out of a nearby drawer.  He’s content and happy and I know it’s probably not baby safe, but he’s not grasping onto my pant legs, so I smile and walk past him. I stop and pick up [...]

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Delay of game

January 3, 2012

“But I CAN’T take a bath because I have to go downstairs!” she insisted with tears streaming down her face and a voice at a level that was dangerously close to waking up her I just got him to sleep little brother. I handed her the doll she got for Christmas, the one made for [...]

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No, YOU be the patient parent

December 19, 2011

When people ask me what it’s like to have two kids so close together and so young, I usually laugh and say that it’s wonderful.  Hard. But wonderful.  Then I tell them that someone is usually crying. I tell them I didn’t know children so young could fight so much.  I tell them that one [...]

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Shaking off the week

December 12, 2011

I’m still in sweatpants and the t-shirt I slept in last night, trying to shake off the night of not so great sleep that followed the week of not so great sleep.  Cuddled in my arms is a sweet blond boy who just finished his morning bottle.  As I always do, I run my hand [...]

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Things that seem random

December 8, 2011

The sky outside my bathroom window looks too light for 10:30 at night. Maybe it’s a full moon, maybe it’s the snow or maybe it’s the blinding Christmas lights from our neighbor’s house. Whatever it is, it gives me a weird feeling. My body knows that it’s late and time to throw in the towel [...]

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Just trying to keep things in perspective

December 7, 2011

Tonight there was: Hamburger Helper and microwaved broccoli that I called dinner. Phones within reach, in case of an important phone call, text or email. Toys snatched from each other, negotiations made and tears. Countless retrievals from the steps of a baby who is way to eager to be moving. No less than two episodes [...]

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Biting my lip

December 5, 2011

My lips are dry and sore. I bite them because I’m nervous and on edge and just a wee bit stressed out lately and that makes them dry and then I bite them because they are dry.  “Quit biting your lip,” I can hear my father saying as he’d tap my chin to remind me. [...]

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Just… go to sleep

November 29, 2011

Sunday He fights against me with everything that he has.  Angry arms are trying to flail, but I hold them firm against me; tiny feet are kicking against my hip.  I hold him tight, readjust when he wiggles a space between us and keep walking and bouncing and shushing.  He’s tired. It’s an hour and [...]

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Just … drive.

November 14, 2011

Behind the wheel, I tap the beat from the radio onto the leather of the steering wheel.  My mind is buzzing from this topic to that one, the thoughts rolling and swirling and with it my my emotions from anger to frustration to hurt to whatever that feeling is when someone you love is hurt [...]

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Triage.

October 31, 2011

I lift the babies out of their cribs, trying to keep the hurry out of my voice and my eyes off the clock.  Cole is so anxious to be held that he bangs his head on the crib rails trying to pull himself up. “Just a second, buddy,” I say as I turn off the [...]

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