It’s not home

by kristas on September 27, 2011

The room is big and nice. Nothing fancy. A big bed with a two-inch-thick comforter.  The kind that almost makes you want to run across the room and bounce on it.  The adjoining bathroom has sample-sized shampoos and lotions, which makes me happy because mine are still sitting on bathroom counter, at home. 

I sigh and place my bag on the bed.  Traveling feels weird without Craig.

After dinner, I make the calls.  The kids are fine. No tears at bedtime. Perfect angels all night long for their grandmother. 

Heh. They could do that for me once in a while.

I slip under the covers for sleep. 

Many hours, many toss and turns and many wakes up later, I throw back the covers and walk to the shower. 

The water dances on my shoulders and neck. The shampoo and conditioner smell a little fruity for my taste, but they’ll do.  I wonder if the kids are up yet and if it’s too early to call. 

I take a little longer in the shower, because, well, I can. 

Rubbing lotion onto my damp skin, I see the scar on my abdomen.  I wonder if I’ll ever apply lotion without thinking of my son and his birth.  I decide no, I will always think of him when I see that five-inch scar. 

A call to my husband and a text from my mom tells me the kids are still sleeping and doing great.  My babies are across the state and I breathe a deep sigh, knowing they are safe and sound. 

I get ready for the day, drying my hair, applying makeup and tying my dress while practicing answers to questions that I’m not sure will be asked. 

My gut tells me this is a big meeting.  My head is excited.  My heart is torn. 

I notice that the corner of my lower lip is tucked between my teeth. I am nervous. I feel antsy.  I’m not leaving for a little while yet.

I need to write. 

So I did. 

 

Also? Remember the Blackie story that I wrote a few weeks ago? I am honored to be selected in the top ten of the people who entered. Please go check out the rest of the entries and vote for your favorite.

{ 12 comments }

Bridget September 27, 2011 at 8:35 am

I don’t even know what the meeting is about, but I’m excited for you! Sounds like an amazing opportunity may be opening up for you!

Kimberly September 27, 2011 at 9:26 am

Your writing is so eloquent. Kind of like I was in the shower with you…wait…that was weird…you know what I mean…or maybe you don’t.
Off to vote m’dere.

Heather of the EO September 27, 2011 at 10:19 am

and I’m so glad you wrote. You’re very good at it.

CJ September 27, 2011 at 1:01 pm

I’m amazed at how much you said with so few words! Beautiful!

molly September 27, 2011 at 2:05 pm

I always subscribe to the “show don’t tell” type of writing and it looks like you do too. Now I’m sucked in and I want to know what happened at the meeting!

Erica@PLRH September 27, 2011 at 3:24 pm

This is good. I’m glad you wrote.

Heather B September 27, 2011 at 5:14 pm

So curious to know what your meeting was all about! Sounds exciting! Hope it went well!!!

Krishann September 27, 2011 at 6:03 pm

This was so beautifully written. You have inspired me to give it a try and “just write” today. So thank you :)

Kimberly September 27, 2011 at 7:08 pm

So beautifully written, I felt like I was there.

Hopes@Staying Afloat! September 28, 2011 at 12:02 am

Oh man!! I’m so anxious to hear what the meeting was about.

I love the way you wrote this. So in the moment! Thinking about you!

Jennifer September 28, 2011 at 7:15 am

I hope your meeting went well! I understand the emotions–it’s always so nice to get away from the kids for a little while, but while I’m away, they constantly fill my thoughts.

jess October 17, 2011 at 9:42 pm

It’s funny, sometimes all you wish for is some peace and alone time. No interruptions. But then when you’re not near them, it just doesn’t feel quite right.

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