After we brush her teeth and dry her hair she looks up at me. “Talk about FAVWATE things?”
“OK, sweetheart. Let’s go talk about favorite things.”
On my bed, she places “her” pillow and my pillow on the middle of the bed. As directed by my two-year-old, I lay my head down and look at her.
“What are you favorite things, Chessa?”
“Bananas! Hot dogs!”
I laugh, she always leads with bananas and hot dogs.
“What else?”
“Um… Ava! Going for car ride! Seeing the Huskies! Playing with Pap Pap!”
Her list continues, largely based on what she did that day.
After a few minutes, I stop her to tell her that my favorite things are her and her brother and daddy. And sometimes I throw in things like shoes and milkshakes because, let’s be real here, they make the list too.
When I’m done and starting to prepare her for bed, she asks to say “PWAYES”
And I can’t help but feel there has to be a better role model for her here. I’m not a kneel by the bed and talk to Jesus kind of pray-er. Yes, I pray. Yes, I thank God for my blessings. Yes, I make sure both kids have bibles and we read the stories now and again. But when it comes to teaching a child how to have a conversation with God. I don’t know how to do that.
I’m more of a “whisper prayer” kind of person. You know the kind… an email request pops into my inbox or someone says please say a prayer that… so I do, there at my desk and every time that person or thing pops into my head, while I’m cooking dinner, or while I’m driving home or while I’m taking a break from writing a technical paper.
When I kiss my child before I lay him down for a nap and am overwhelmed with how lucky - no, how blessed we are - to have healthy and happy children, I whisper a “thank you” to Him. Or when I feel like I need some help – more patience, more confidence, more belief that things will actually work out, more ability to bite my tongue – then I whisper a prayer for help with that very thing.
So how do I teach a toddler to say her nightly prayers?
My attempt is usually something like “Dear Jesus, thank you for this day…” and on we go, thanking Him for our blessings and asking for him to watch over my girl while she sleeps and take care of the people she loves.
When we’re done, (although I never quite know the proper way to end a prayer – Over and out? 10-4? Love you?) we wrap it up with a resounding amen.
And off she goes to bed.
So, Internet? Is this how you teach a child to pray? Is the act of praying more important than the execution? Can there be a wrong way to pray?
{ 17 comments }
I dont think there is a wrong way to pray. I’m a whisper prayer type of person too. I think chessa asking to pray and you leading is great. I need to take a page from your book and start doing nightly prayers with Ry.
there is definitely no wrong way to pray. i consider myself a fairly religious person, and your prayers sound exactly like the one we pray with my 2 year old every night. we thank Jesus for this day and for our family, then I let David say some things he’s thankful for (basically the same as when your daughter talks about her favorite things: it’s just a rundown of what we did or saw that day). we say “in Jesus name we pray, Amen.” at the end. and that’s it! little kids don’t need anything bigger than that. just plant the seed and make it a routine. it seems to me like you’re already doing a great job!
Good question…
I always talk to God like he’s my homeboy. I don’t know if that’s disrespectful but I am just not down with the prayers that they shoved down my throat in Catholic school.
I end with amen
I LOVE this! It’s open and honest and REAL. I have no advice whatsoever. But I do, indeed, LOVE it!
I love this! I totally agree with Katie above: just make it a routine, and there’s no wrong way. It’s wonderful that you’re setting that example for Chessa, and I appreciate hearing that you’re not sure you’re doing it “right.” I feel that way, oh, 99.9% of the time with parenting, so it’s nice to know I’m not alone.
I think you’re doing it right. I’m the same type of person and I have never prayed with either of my daughters. I really need to start.
Gosh, I have the same question! I hear parents talk about praying with their kids and like you, I’m the whisper kind. I feel silly doing them vocally and in front of others. I don’t know how to change that feeling and practice of mine and I don’t know how to start it with them. I hope you get good advice here, then maybe turn it into a post!
You are doing what is best – teaching your daughter to notice what she needs and what she loves, be grateful for it and protect it.
We use nightly prayers to “gossip” about our kids to God. We first thank for our children themselves “Dear God, thank you for Ari. Thank you for keeping him safe and healthy.” Then we thank for the things he is working on or doing “thank you for helping him remember to use his words when his brother frustrates him” and “thank you for how persistent he is when he has trouble in math.” We encourage our kids to add something, but don’t insist on it. We end with the “Please protect him and please help US to be the best parents we can be.” Amen.
Don’t know if this helps, but our kids (even the 9yo) definitely listen to what we pray about, and I’ve heard them praying alone through the baby monitor.
I don’t believe that there is a wrong way to pray, really.
We usually just say “Amen” with our kids, though my 5 y/o informed me we say “In Jesus’ name, Amen” b/c that is what he is learning in school.
I don’t think there is a wrong way at all. Whatever works for your family. We haven’t really done anything with prayers yet with our kids either. I’d say I’m the same type of pray-er you are. When I was a kid I did the “now I lay me down to sleep….” prayer. Maybe an idea?
Oh I love how you do “favorite things.” We do that around the dinner table at night so the boys can tell us their three favorite things from the day.
As for praying, I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to do it. When I was a child, we always started with “Now I lay me”
Great post… My daughter is 2 1/2 and we are just starting to pray at night. Although I need to do a better job being consistent and doing it every night. I’ve had the same questions… How do I teach her to pray but now you gave a great example. Thank you!
This is such a sweet routine! I love our soft whispers before bed time.
I’m also a silent pray-er. I don’t have advice as to how to teach them, but as long as they are doing it, in their own way, I’d say that’s a great thing!
Also? I am probably late about this, so I apologize, but I love the design!
Just found your blog today and thought this was such a wonderful post. I love that you are taking time time to pray with your little one. Although we have always ended our prayers saying “in Jesus name I pray amen” I don’t think there’s a wrong way. For us it’s simply about us talking to Him and also taking the time to thank Him. Sometimes it so easy to only pray when we want something or when things are going wrong. We forget to simply say thank you…
Sounds like you’re doing a great job!
Love this post! Prayer is conversing with God. Like any relationship, the more you talk, the closer you get, the more intimate you become. Little ones are so pure of heart, and teach us so much. Prayer isn’t about just thanking and asking for things, it’s about praising too! I love you God! What parent doesn’t like to be told how wonderful they are? That they are loved. For children, one can do this by saying God is awesome, wonderful, etc., because He loves us so much… when I consider the stars and the sea… they love “word pictures” letting them know that God holds them, and Mommy and Daddy, too in the palm of his hand, etc., lets them know that they are safe and secure, also God’s promise, that when we pray, He hears us, that all works of art: writing, music, dance, singing, painting, etc., are inspirations from the Holy Spirit, that they are God’s gift to you and daddy, about heaven, miracles, angels, love, joy, peace are all things children understand quite easily, as newly minted pennies: spiritually, your children are closer to heaven than earth!
Definitely no wrong way to pray. But I’m with you… How do you teach a little one to pray?
I have been wanting to start praying with Beaner as well but I’m just not sure how to do it. I mean I know how to pray in the car or send whispers into the night, and I *know* there isn’t a right or wrong way to talk to God. So it sounds like you are on the right track at least.
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