A taste of work at home

The upside (well not upside, but the thing that made it bearable and kept me from losing my mind) to my mother-in-law getting sick a few weeks ago was having the flexibility from my boss to work from home as needed.  The excited, if not naïve, Krista had visions of sleeping in until 6:30 (yes, that’s sleeping in), working on the couch in my sweats while C entertained herself with books and toys on the floor. I would be sending emails from my couch while chuckling at the opening of Regis and Kelly.  In my mind, I am just as productive at home as I was in the office.  And the not showering thing…well, that’s just a bonus. 

Wow, does reality suck. 

Here’s what working at home really looks like:

• Waking up at 5:30 anyway, because that’s the time I get up and sleeping in is as distant a memory as my disposable income and size 4 jeans. 
• Not getting anything productive done between 6:30 and 8:30 because almost one-year-olds want to be entertained.  And that laptop that Mommy is playing with?  Well that’s a whole lot more interesting than this tea pot, this mini piano or any of these books.  Who knew??! 
• Once the child does lie down, the wireless internet bombs.  20 minutes later, I’m connected, I’m online, I’m ready to work and then, the child throws her paci out of her crib and begins wailing. 
• As I open the door to retrieve the paci, the stench of a fresh dirty diaper slaps me in the face and for the first of many times, I find myself wishing I was at the office. 
• 10 minutes later, I’m back downstairs and have a good hour and a half to work and knock thing off of my to-do list.
• When she wakes, I put the laptop away (I’m not crazy enough to attempt working while she’s up twice in a four-hour period) and indulge in some cartoons and baby squeals.  But in the meantime, I miss a conference call because I’m not at my computer to have Outlook remind me.  Whoopsie. 
• Over lunch, I send an email to my boss to tell him I will be late for the 1:00 conference call if C isn’t down for a nap, because really, they don’t want me on this call with her in the background. 
• The one thing that goes my way is that the child gets tired early and I put her down at 12:55.  She happily plays in her crib and quietly falls asleep while I sit in on the conference call and try desperately to not fall asleep while discussing key performance indicators.  (Come on, you started snoring just reading that, right?!)
• However, C wakes up before the call ends and I watch her on the monitor and pray that she doesn’t start yelling loud enough for my coworkers to hear her through the phone. 
• Finally, my brother shows up to entertain the child while I retreat to my bedroom with Tylenol and my computer, rapidly throwing together a presentation that I have to give the next day.  However, I can hear her downstairs whining because she wants to go outside, so I stop working to go down and tell him to put sunscreen on her and give him toys she can take with her. 
• Back upstairs and on a roll with the presentation, the internet toys with me once again.  I consider throwing the computer out the window but wonder how I would explain that to IT and think better of it.  Instead, I call it a day, and go downstairs to my kid, little brother and to make dinner. 
• And, by make dinner, I mean order a pizza. 

Moral of the story – Children are distracting little buggers and “work at home” might only work if there’s not actually a child in the home.