A few months ago when I started sharing the ins and outs and ups and downs of my mommyhood with the world, I found myself consumed by it. Captivated. Curious. Hooked.
I needed to be “connected” all. the. time. I was constantly checking Twitter on my phone, subscribing to blog after blog in my Google Reader and freaking out when I logged in and found 237 unread posts. The second I laid C down to sleep, I would hurry to open up the laptop and tap out a post or comment on my favorite blogs.
A few months later, I find myself rocking her a little longer, even after she’s fallen asleep. Or I open the computer and stare at the “add new post” screen, unsure about what to write. Maybe I share a few not-so-witty, borderline whiny tweets and check in with a few e-friends. But I don’t feel as tied to blogging as I did a while back.
Is it because it’s not what I thought it would be? My posts aren’t earth shattering. I don’t touch hot topics with a ten-foot pole. And I don’t know where I want this site to go.
Is it because way too often Twitter gives me the big fat fail whale and I just don’t have the patience for it?
Is it because I see C’s babyhood slipping away and I want to take every moment to soak it in? Not write or talk about it?
Is it because things like work, busy weekends, the start of football season and not feeling well have my head in a place where, by the end of the day, I don’t want to do anything other than curl up with a soft blanket and Reba reruns on Lifetime?
I’m being a little bit melodramatic. I’m not going anywhere. I blogged before anyone read what I wrote and honestly, my mom likes seeing new pictures of her granddaughter. I just noticed this change tonight, when again C feel asleep as I was feeding her (does anyone else think she needs an earlier bedtime?) and instead of rushing to jump online, I rocked, stroked her hair, ran my finger along her cheek and just stared at her peaceful and content face.
It’s also a little bit of an explanation for the lack of commenting (so sorry!) and the over abundance of posts that mostly just cute pictures or silly stories. Maybe someday, I’ll try to stretch my wings a little more, be a little more engaged, a little less whiny. But for now, this is where I’m at.
Pity party. Table for one.
July 27th, 2010 at 9:29 pm
I think that’s absolutely natural. When we see our little ones growing up and we can’t stop them, we just want to hold onto them a little longer and stare at their little innocent faces after they’ve dozed off. That’s what makes us moms.
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July 27th, 2010 at 9:57 pm
I am completely with you. I spent my down time at work reading blogs. After Belle went down I was writing new posts or cathching up. Then within the last few weeks its almost like life has caught up. I barely have time to upload pictures to post. Most of my posts are done on my lunch at work lately. I am also thinking that summer is just to busy to be in front of the computer all the time.
I would take the time with Belle over blogging any time! Thats being a mom and your a great mom. Enjoy every moment with your little girl.
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July 27th, 2010 at 11:00 pm
The statement about babyhood slipping away made tears spring to my eyes. You are so right. I find myself all to often being stickler for DD’s schedule and putting her to bed as soon as she rubs her eyes. Then I go and jump online. What would it hurt to hold my little one and rock her a little longer than usual? I’ll never get this time with her back.
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July 27th, 2010 at 11:53 pm
I don’t think this sounded whiny at all – social media and rss feeds and all of that are consuming and overwhelming – I think everyone’s participation ebbs and flows as the balance the blogging world with the real one.
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July 28th, 2010 at 2:42 am
I know what you mean — blogging and tweeting is addicting. But time IS slipping away from us mommies and we realize that we can’t always have these precious moments with our little ones. It makes me a bit sad and a little dramatic too, knowing that my Little Miss will be turning 1 in a couple of months.
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July 28th, 2010 at 9:35 am
Well I notice when you don’t tweet or blog, and I miss you! But it’s totally ok to take a step back and hold C a bit longer, and stroke her cheek and take in the moments she rests her head on your shoulder; because all too soon she’ll be begging to be put down so she can take off running. Don’t go too far away, or I’ll find you.
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July 28th, 2010 at 9:43 am
That’s the beauty of blogging…don’t feel pressured to write. It’s supposed to be for you!
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July 28th, 2010 at 9:45 am
That’s the beauty of blogging…do what you want when you want!! I am glad that you’re taking time to enjoy life and to not be tied to your computer. I have been thinking the same thing!
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July 28th, 2010 at 4:18 pm
You’ve put into words what I’ve been thinking for awhile. Sometimes I feel like blogging is a full time job – and I’ve already got one of those and family to spend time with. So for what it’s worth, do what you need to do! While I follow a lot of blogs, I only take the time on those that I connect with (one being yours!), no matter how often they post. Enjoy that precious time with your family, it is going too fast for me that’s for sure!
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July 30th, 2010 at 9:29 pm
this is also something i struggle with too. I think it’s ok to take a step back and know you don’t HAVE to post something every day. I know I won’t be able to this fall when school starts up again. I love it when you’re on twitter and when you’re posting, but I totally understand the need to take a step back. I will still be a follower either way!
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August 3rd, 2010 at 9:32 am
I LIKE the pictures & silly stories… no excuses necessary!
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August 8th, 2010 at 1:11 am
Babyhood lasts such a short time..enjoy it. You are just being a great Mom when you don’t fret over an occasional skipped post or putting Twitter on the sidelines for awhile to spend more time where you are needed most.
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August 11th, 2010 at 10:54 am
I know exactly what you mean- I wrote the same post not that long ago.
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