Most nights I put her to bed awake following her bottle and a book. But once in a while, she drifts off while finishing her bottle and on those nights it’s hard for me to put her to bed right away.
Like last night. Her eyes were closing as I was humming songs I learned at church camp 15 years ago. I remembered the peaceful feeling of sitting around a warm fire with church members, friends and complete strangers. Toasting marshmallows, swaying from side to side and wrapping ourselves in sweatshirts and blankets. Summers are hot around here, but the nights? The nights are cool.
I remembered Dave on his guitar and Jeannie who would call out the next verse or next song. People I haven’t thought about in years. But I remember it being so quiet, so calm and so safe.
Just like the baby girl in my arms who takes a deep breath and turns her body into the crook of my arm. Her eyes are still behind closed lids, her long lashes resting on her cheek.
I stare at her face and think that sometimes she still looks so much like the newborn I brought home from the hospital almost 10 months ago. And then I see a bruise that’s almost faded and am reminded that she’s nothing like that newborn baby.
The lump forms in my throat and tears sting my eyes. These last ten months. They have gone so fast. In another nine or ten months I probably won’t be rocking her much.
She sighs again and starts to shift and stretch. She’s ready to fall deeper into sleep but she wants her bed. She wants to get comfortable.
I lean over, press my lips to her forehead and carefully stand up. As I lower her to the mattress, I whisper the same thing as the night before.
“I love you, baby girl. You sleep so tight. Mommy will see you in the morning.”
July 22nd, 2010 at 8:02 am
So sweet and I say something very similar as I lower Ryann into her crib. Time is passing by too quickly.
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July 22nd, 2010 at 8:02 am
This is such a beautiful post!
I am too amazed and at the same time saddened at how fast our babies grow. My son is turning 2 next month. I thought people were lying when they said how fast time goes…Bass turds were right.
Great post lady
Now I’m off to snuggle the crap out of my son if he likes it or not 
Kimberly
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July 22nd, 2010 at 8:42 am
My husband and i were looking at all (and I mean ALL) of our old pictures (Gavin just turned 1) and we can’t believe how little he used to be and how he’d just fall asleep right on our shoulder.
This was such a sweet post, thanks for sharing it! And remember, even though it is sad to lose the babyness, there is SO much more in store for them and us as mamas!
Have a good day
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July 22nd, 2010 at 9:00 am
Sigh. I feel like time is going by too quickly too.
I just wrote about how her birthday is wreaking havoc with my already out-of-whack emotions. Our babies are the same age too. Thanks for posting this! It helps (a bit) to know that I’m not alone. /Hugs to fellow moms who need it!
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July 22nd, 2010 at 9:56 am
OMG – I need to quit reading this at work. Makes me tear up. She is a growing!! Isn’t that peaceful feeling just the best. Like all is right with the world. Great post.
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July 22nd, 2010 at 1:19 pm
Thanks for sharing this piece of your day. I loved it.
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July 22nd, 2010 at 2:01 pm
What a fantastic mommy you are, so sweet. I miss the cuddly, rocking stage.
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July 22nd, 2010 at 6:24 pm
this post is simply beautiful. how quickly time steals our babies from us. but never takes our children!
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July 22nd, 2010 at 11:19 pm
Beautiful post. I had one of those nights with my son.
Cheers,
Anne
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July 23rd, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Oh, those were the days. You are wise to enjoy them, as they are short-lived. There will come a time when your baby girl kisses you and basically tells you get scram so she can sleep, but there is beauty in that, too.
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July 24th, 2010 at 12:32 am
Such a beautiful post. I think every mom can relate to this.
I’m new here and I love it. Will be back for more.
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